Air Traffic Controlling SXSW

I received a lot of interesting responses from the last guest post by Larry Chiang. Well, he’s landed in Austin and he is offering to help you aspiring tech entrepreneurs. Read his latest here:

People call me a connector.

I view myself as a worker. While eating frozen yogurt at a Fraiche that was founded by an Austin-ite, I co-founded Asse9. Before my Valrhona chocolate was finished at 644 Emerson, I had text recruited 12 hot female humans to be managing directors. Me, my dog Baxter and an anonymous but legendary VC would serve as their male secretari triumvirate.

Now for 2012 SXSW, I serve to seek a new value added capacity.

Your entrepreneurial Air Traffic Controller.

In the same way that Yoga-in-the-Zilker-Park has an awesomely awesome person that physically “adjusts” you.. I will virtually adjust and assist your SXSW poses. Giselle, my yoga guru says, “Grope you like a girlfriend”…

I won’t be physically massaging you but I will wrangle you like a celebrity — green room included!!

My method of wrangling you-the-superstar is engineered by the method called ‘larry chiang air traffic controlling (LCATC).

Here is the Gua Gua Guacamole 80+ step method broken down into five tool categories

-1- MVBP your request to have me LCATC you. Omg, i just acronym-ized something into a verb. MVBP stands for minimum viable blog post. Google and execute it.

-2- email me. Guess my email.

My engineers at Stanford get good at hacking not only email address of VCs but also “Using Google Maps to Get Any Execs Cell Phone Number“.
Yes an Austin-ite, Lorene Moore wrote that.

So email or text me your MVBP

Tired of processing acronyms?! CYMSCAPOTBP (close your mother scratchin’ computer and print out this blog post)

-3- Text me now your intention to do tool #1, “MVBP your request”. http://twitter.com/6502838008

-4- I read and memorize your 12 sentence MVBP

-5- I execute LCATC

You stay sober and keep your iPhone charged. You get and keep two iPhone chargers in your pocket

You get ready for a legendary SXSW experience

You make fun of California people invading our city.

The public is out there hoping for one-click entrepreneurship. I’m serving up 80 step entrepreneurship.

Oh. My benefit??!

LeadGen.

I’ll be the LCATC / servant / executive admin / assistant to about 350 of you that read this and the 35 of you that actually execute the MVBP to the 29 -34 of you that stay sober from now until March 14.

It’s a lot of work for me, but I’m Jeremy Lin like that.

Yes, an Asian street smart – book smart worker that currently turns the ball over too much but averages 2.7 MMPPI (mentor mentions per press interview). See exlusive footage http://bit.ly/jlin710 MMPPI is a new draft algorithm I engineered for sports agents to influence NBA GMs.

It is WTDoTYAHA (what they DO teach you at Harvard Athletics)

The GOAL. My Secret Goal.

Of the ~35 of you… One of you will hug me after ten plus years.  You say, “I met you via that AustinStartUp blog post that Bryan Menell posted and now we are here ringing the NASDAQ bell. SO CRAY CRAY!

Me: “Who says cray cray any more?! It’s so 2016”

You say, “YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOU DID”

I know NASDAQ doesn’t have a bell. I put one there 11-12-12 when I launched my sequel book from a Fashion Show in NYC that my mentor started that I coat tail behind

Google Mark McCormack later.

12 sentences on WordPress now for your MVBP. Execute.

PS not in Texas?!
Read “Virtual SXSW Experience” – http://whattheydontteachyouatstanfordbusinessschool.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/the-virtual-south-by-southwest-sxsw-experience/